Emily Williams - Decipher Blog

When you think of perfectionism what comes to mind? When you think about details, what do you think of? When you think of both of these intersecting what does that mean to you? What does this all mean as an artist? What does it mean to be right? or to be wrong?

What does this all mean to me? How do I hold myself back because I feel what I’m doing isn't “perfect”? Where do details and perfectionism go hand in hand in my life? in my art? 

These questions were all things I began to consider when starting the creative process for this work, and are something I continue to consider throughout my daily life. The inspiration for this piece comes from a very personal place of understanding and dealing with perfectionism. I wanted to work with the ideas of details and perfectionism and how they intersect for me not only as a person but as a dance artist. I felt a great deal of apprehension to start this work, because of the ideas of what I was doing was “right”, but through this process, I’ve allowed myself to challenge the ideas of what I feel is right and wrong, and create in an authentic way.  

I pulled a lot of my inspiration from personal experiences where I felt I was stuck in the cycle of perfectionism. Places like school, dance class, work, but also the metaphorical mental place where I am often stuck in the cycle of overindulging and fixating on details and experiencing the crippling feelings of perfectionism. Throughout the creative process, I did quite a bit of journaling both relating to the piece, and unrelated to explore where I can take this theme of perfectionism, and how I can use creating this piece as somewhat of a cathartic experience. I wanted to take my personal experiences and pull words and feelings from them that could influence my movements. I also used lyrics from songs that I feel embody some of the feelings that I experience in the cycle of perfectionism to motivate and influence my creation. 

This piece to me is incredibly vulnerable, in it depicts the battle with the idea of what is conventionally considered ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and my personal experiences of perfectionism. It has given me the opportunity to look at my own experiences from an outside perspective, while still embodying those feelings. It creates an interesting juxtaposition when working with this theme and breaking it apart, while still experiencing the cycle, contemplation and emotions of perfectionism while creating this work. 

My hope is to take this work as an open letter to myself in letting go of some of the power perfectionism holds over me. I also hope to create an impactful work that to an outside eye depicts the vicious cycle of perfectionism, and how crippling it can become, and the feeling of navigating a world that strives for the ideal. In Decipher it is important for me to begin to break this cycle, and recognize what perfectionism means for me, and for artists and humans alike.

Prospects: an evening of dance and discussion presents

Decipher

Choreographed by Emily Williams
Thursday, March 25th 2021
8PM
Hosted on ZOOM
$20 General Admission | $40 Pay it Forward | PWYC
Get tickets here!